I watched a delightful Pastor on TBN a few nights ago, and still laugh as I remember his presentation. He was talking about husbands and wives and the difference in men and women.
The thing that stood out in my mind so much was his view on getting men to do things for their wives. He said that women must ask their husbands several times to get them to even hear the request let alone agree and move on it. He laughed and said, we just don’t hear you the first time and he would laugh and chuckle. He said women always say, “Well I shouldn’t have to tell him more than once.” and I remember how many times I used to think that. He wasn’t suggesting women nag their husbands but let them know the need.
I want to take that a little further. My mother used to tell me to ‘train’ my husband not complain about him. When we married he never remembered a holiday or any special occasion and I would be hurt and in tears. My mother explained that we lose nothing in letting men know what we need. Why should they be expected to understand or anticipate our needs–men do not think like women. So I too her advice and would let my husband know (lovingly) two weeks before a birthday or holiday, one week and a few days in advance, that it was coming and he should take an ‘action’. You know, she was so right because he really appreciated my ‘help’ and was very good at following through.
Through the the years, the gifts and cards just got better and better. We are talking here of a great guy, good humor and personality and almost void of romance. Our marriage improved as I changed, and he actually became more romantic in later years.
Since then I have learned that men have a ‘build in’ (unless it was damaged in their youth) need to rescue and smart women take advantage of that God given response in men to the needs of others, especially their wives and children. Ladies, if we can do everything ourselves, we get to do everything our selves. On the other hand if we honor and respect our husbands and let them know we have a need (to open a jar, fix the broken faucet, fill the car with gas, take our side in a family situation) they will come to the rescue. It is all in how we ‘think’ about the situation, the way we handle it and the honor we show them.
Nagging is always caustic and full of sarcasm and or bitterness. In respecting that guy we chose to live with we may just need to help him feel needed, not harassed. My husband is now with the Lord. I have a delightful picture of him, smiling mischievously, on the wall above my computer; just looking at it makes me smile and how I would like to talk him into something now, making him think it is his idea, all for my good. I have to be content knowing he is having a ball in heaven. So I will just have to rescue my self for awhile!
I pray many will take to heart the privilege of enjoying the difference in men and women, and change their strategy as a partner to honor and respect that special man or woman in their life!