I watched a delightful Pastor on TBN a few nights ago, and still laugh as I remember his presentation. He was talking about husbands and wives and the difference in men and women.
The thing that stood out in my mind so much was his view on getting men to do things for their wives. He said that women must ask their husbands several times to get them to even hear the request let alone agree and move on it. He laughed and said, we just don’t hear you the first time and he would laugh and chuckle. He said women always say, “Well I shouldn’t have to tell him more than once.” and I remember how many times I used to think that. He wasn’t suggesting women nag their husbands but let them know the need.
I want to take that a little further. My mother used to tell me to ‘train’ my husband not complain about him. When we married he never remembered a holiday or any special occasion and I would be hurt and in tears. My mother explained that we lose nothing in letting men know what we need. Why should they be expected to understand or anticipate our needs–men do not think like women. So I too her advice and would let my husband know (lovingly) two weeks before a birthday or holiday, one week and a few days in advance, that it was coming and he should take an ‘action’. You know, she was so right because he really appreciated my ‘help’ and was very good at following through.
Through the the years, the gifts and cards just got better and better. We are talking here of a great guy, good humor and personality and almost void of romance. Our marriage improved as I changed, and he actually became more romantic in later years.
Since then I have learned that men have a ‘build in’ (unless it was damaged in their youth) need to rescue and smart women take advantage of that God given response in men to the needs of others, especially their wives and children. Ladies, if we can do everything ourselves, we get to do everything our selves. On the other hand if we honor and respect our husbands and let them know we have a need (to open a jar, fix the broken faucet, fill the car with gas, take our side in a family situation) they will come to the rescue. It is all in how we ‘think’ about the situation, the way we handle it and the honor we show them.
Nagging is always caustic and full of sarcasm and or bitterness. In respecting that guy we chose to live with we may just need to help him feel needed, not harassed. My husband is now with the Lord. I have a delightful picture of him, smiling mischievously, on the wall above my computer; just looking at it makes me smile and how I would like to talk him into something now, making him think it is his idea, all for my good. I have to be content knowing he is having a ball in heaven. So I will just have to rescue my self for awhile!
I pray many will take to heart the privilege of enjoying the difference in men and women, and change their strategy as a partner to honor and respect that special man or woman in their life!
I seem to be on a kick about family and how we interpret the affections and attention of those in our personal circle of family and friends. I came up with this little term, drive by phone call, which means something like:
“Hi, Mom I just called to say I love you and you are in my thoughts. How are you doing? (Not expecting a long list of what is really going on.) Well, I am on my way to a meeting so I will talk to you later. Love you, Bye, …. ”
And, there is the drive by drop in. That would be the visit where they explain as they come in the door that they don’t have time to stay. That they just came by to leave something or make sure you are alive. And you don’t have to be old to have this experience.
Well, this can be either negative or positive. And positive is healthier so I decided that is my choice. A drive by phone call is great because you know they have you on their mind, they are concerned, and it doesn’t tie up your time either. Just a loving connection!
A drive by drop in visit is cool because no matter how busy the person is, they took the time to stop by. Many times in the past I wasn’t prepared for company and really glad they did not stay long so I could get out of my PJs or whatever.
So I just invite my family and friends to do either, and I will love them for it. In fact I am going to do some of that myself and spread a little love around to others. Especially those who live alone! Then every night I can look in the mirror and ask, “Did I do a drive by today?” I did! Good girl!
A couple of nights ago I watched a movie that I had previously seen and enjoyed. It is called Shall We Dance, starring Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez and Susan Sarandon. I really enjoy the movie-and could easily watch it again, if only for the dancing. However, there is one scene that made a great impression on me.
Susan Sarandon is meeting with a private detective whom she hired to follow her husband, Richard Gere. They have a discussion about why people get married. Susan says something to the effect, “People get married so they have a witness to their life. Some one who knows them and all they do, that makes life worthwhile.” I may not have quoted it perfectly but you get the message.
Well, I certainly got the message. That is the reason I feel so lonely at times. I think that is why others who live alone for any reason feel lonely as they have no one to witness to their lives. Some one who makes life worth while. Since I have a personal relationship with Jesus I know He and the Holy Spirit, and my Heavenly Father are always with me and witness my life. But, it is not the same.
I am blessed with family and friends, however, they have their own lives and agenda. My friends have similar emotions and complain that they don’t hear from their family often enough, or see them as much as they would like.
I work at home so for many days I may not see anyone accept a grocery store clerk or someone at the post office. Some people may enjoy living alone. In fact a quote in the newspaper recently, was “Solitude is the salt of person-hood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience.” I personally enjoy quiet time with the Lord, times to read, and do whatever I want. But I still do not like eating alone, having no one to tell my opinions on evening TV, or how beautiful the sunset is, or the rain on the pine tree in my yard. Oh yes, I can pick up the phone and call a friend, and believe me I do. It is still not the same.
It dawned on me that no one knows what I do, or how I am from minute to minute or even day to day. I am thankful for this understanding because now I don’t have to reprimand myself for ‘not being thankful for all that I have.’
Then something wonderful happened. I cleaned out a drawer looking for a greeting card for a special occasion. I took a minute to pull out some old cards from family and friends, that I have saved for years. The more I read the more I wanted to read.
It was such fun, and I thought about what I learned about being lonely. And, I changed my thinking as I realized I am not alone. I have wonderful memories, and family and friends to call on when I truly need them. I plan to add even more memories to savour and remember when a little demon tells me I am lonely.
We all know we have people in our lives who love us. They aren’t short of love, they are short on time! And I was just short on perspective; I am so thankful for what I have learned!
Amazing how our ‘history’ is evolving….excuse the ‘pun’. The United States Senate by an invitation of Senator Harry Reid opened the Senate with a Hindu prayer. I haven’t yet read what he said.
It does not matter what he said, as much as what is the Christian Church going to do? Take a stand, write notes and emails against such a practice? Is a Muslim prayer next?
Or will we, who believe in the One and Only God of the Universe, Jehovah God of the Bible, going to send a message where it really counts? Simply and profoundly we must declare forgiveness of these men, and those in agreement with them, for their ignorance of the truth.
Those who do know Jesus personally, know that forgiveness is the most powerful tool in the Universe. As we love on those men (meaning ‘wanting the best for them’ not sentimental sloppy love we see on TV regularly) and demand that they be brought into a knowledge of the Kingdom of God right here on earth who has Jesus as its’ King.
We must agree and demand they be ‘loosed’ from the bondage of false religion and receive a personal revelation of the God who cares for each one, personally, on this earth, taking our authority (You know, the one Jesus paid so dearly to give us!), to set them free.
Few men could stand against the agreement of millions in prayer for their souls and their spiritual well being, let alone these two men, trying to do the ‘right’ thing.
Why would that work? Because the Holy Spirit is so powerful, wonderful and undeniably thorough, in His job of drawing people into the Kingdom. He is just waiting for someone to pray ‘His Heart’ for the world! Waiting for someone to have enough love for these enemies of Who He truly is, to bless them, sending Angels to carry out God’s plan!
How about a personal visitation from Jesus? I can pray for that, can you?
Think of the change in the world if we drown every person who opposes the things of God in prayer, forgiveness and the Spirit of truth! Our enemies would stop, they would be in fear of being identified by the Army of the LIVING GOD! SELAH!
P S We still need to pray for Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump
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